This will only be a quick note as I'm sort of thinking off the top of my head, I'm looking for opinions and suppose I should post this on a board.
Do you think that we look for acceptance more than fluent speakers?
What I mean is have you ever noticed that "normal speakers" can say almost anything without stammering or stuttering or blocking or anything like that. Whereas we (me) I tend to think about what I'm going to say consider the consquences in so far as who's going to say what in reply and whether or not they will reply in positive or negative. Should I give a shit??
If people don't like what I have to say that is their problem. I'm not talking about being offensive or rude to anybody but simple, silly things like asking a family member or friend for a favour, almost subconscienciously I'm auditing their response for rejection even before I ask the question.
I've spent years alone in my head, every negative thought reinforcing the previous one and compounding my fears and anxiety around my speech. I've never really made a proper connection with anyone enough to talk about this but today....I'm going to start. Maybe it has nothing to do with my stammer, maybe it has, and therein lies the challenge.
Do you think that we look for acceptance more than fluent speakers?
What I mean is have you ever noticed that "normal speakers" can say almost anything without stammering or stuttering or blocking or anything like that. Whereas we (me) I tend to think about what I'm going to say consider the consquences in so far as who's going to say what in reply and whether or not they will reply in positive or negative. Should I give a shit??
If people don't like what I have to say that is their problem. I'm not talking about being offensive or rude to anybody but simple, silly things like asking a family member or friend for a favour, almost subconscienciously I'm auditing their response for rejection even before I ask the question.
I've spent years alone in my head, every negative thought reinforcing the previous one and compounding my fears and anxiety around my speech. I've never really made a proper connection with anyone enough to talk about this but today....I'm going to start. Maybe it has nothing to do with my stammer, maybe it has, and therein lies the challenge.
3 comments:
Yes, I do that(hi I'm randy, just found your blog recently). I can't say i know an answer either way but I know I do it and justify it everyday. It often comes down to how much effort do I want to put into actually talking or defending what I said in spite of negative reaction.
BUt do you think "normal people give it as much thought, Personally I don't think they do, I just tend to be over sensitive to others' feelings and this has an impact on my speech.
Tanks for you comments btw.
Charlie
I'm definitely over sensitive to others feelings. But even with that said I can't say how much for example my co workers respond. To my face they are generally understanding...but who knows?
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